My Boyfriend, The Prostitute
by Edi Fel
Summary: What would happen in an alternate universe where.... Warning, mm relationship
1. Chapter 1

Title: My Boyfriend, The Prostitute

Author: Kloak Dark aka Vale

Warnings: AU, OOCness based on AU, references to prostitution

AN: This is my first fic using first person point of view, so please bare with me through this and give me any criticism you'd think would help my writing. This is just sort of an odd story that popped into my head while listening to a song by Decembrists, and will probably later evolve into a fic about what would happen if Draco and Harry were prostitutes and Severus ran into them, but so far in this one, it's just about Harry's business and Severus' desire for him. Again, all comments are appreciated.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry or Severus, I wish I did, but then I wouldn't get to see book seven…

When did I first see him? People are always asking me that. I know it's not normally such a common question, but because I'm Severus Snape, the man everyone thought would die a bachelor, I suppose it's what's on everyone's mind. It seems they have some romantic notion that our eyes locked in a crowded restaurant, at respectable ball, or even that he was my 'waitress' at some old diner. I'll leave them to their romantic notions, and here will be written the true story.

I was in London, picking up potion ingredients for a particular project from my favourite apothecary, which happened to be in a rather shady neighbourhood. As I was passing an alley, I heard movement and glanced over. That was when I first saw him, bent over, jeans around his ankles, and body covered with that of a much older man's. Yes, the man I chose to spend the rest of my life with, was a prostitute.

Though not particularly keen to witness the event, I did stay in the general area, and hadn't properly realized exactly what the boy was until he walked out of the alley, walking like he was sore, and counting up some bills.

At the time, I did not approach him, and simply left London to head back to my teaching position at Hogwarts. However, I found that often my mind kept wandering back to how he'd looked bent over and panting, face flushed and mouth open in a moan. Damn, boner again…

It was after many nights of… having to satisfy myself, that I finally decided to go back to London and look for him. It was not like me to engage the services of a prostitute, but I couldn't get his face out of my head.

I don't really enjoy apparating very much, I'd prefer a train or flying, but on this occasion, I apparated out of necessity. One would think my search would have taken quite a while, however, as I walked down the street towards the apothecary, there he was on the corner, smoking a fag and pulling off that midriff shirt and tight jeans too well for the comfort of my pants.

Upon noticing that I'd eyed him, he'd dropped the cigarette and ground it out, looking over at me with those gorgeous green eyes. Damn, he's a stripper, stop that! The boy's gaze was odd, and electrifying, though it was a bit startling when he sidled over and puts his arms around my waist before leaning into me. After that he pulled the sexiest smile I'd ever seen, and I'd seen some pretty sexy smiles in my day, what with being Lucius' best friend.

"I saw you the other day," his smile widened a bit. "I knew you'd come back, I could see it in your eyes." Whether his ability to judge people was simply one of the tricks of his trade, I didn't know, but he'd read me like a book.

My fingers slipped up to play with his hair, running through it gently. If nothing else, the boy was well groomed and certainly had nice enough clothing. "Don't you think you'll lose customers if you're leaning up against me like this?"

It seemed like an intelligent thing, honestly, the boy couldn't get hired very well if he was hugging him like a boyfriend, though I could certainly deal with that myself as it had been a long time since someone had actually wrapped their arms around me. But he just grinned before leaning up to nuzzle my ear. "It's my day off." He muttered, running his teeth over my throat.

I was already suppressing moans by this point, but my hand moved from his hair to cup his cheek before I let my lips press against his for a few moments. "Suppose I can't secure your services then…" My teeth tugged at his bottom lip.

With a smouldering look, he said to me, "Pay for the hotel room and I'm yours."

It ended up better than that, since I took him back to the castle. Probably not one of my best ideas, as there were students still in school at the time, but there was nothing saying I couldn't have wild hot sex with prostitutes in my own bed, thank god since wild hot sex hardly begins to describe it.

We'll suffice to say we were both worn out by the end. The funny thing, in my opinion, was that he asked if he could stay before I kicked him out. I'd actually had no such plan, so I told him he could stay there as long as he liked. Neither of us knew it would turn out to be such a long time.

In the beginning while he stayed with me, everything was based on the sex. But, one night, he said something that actually surprised me, and of course, he was rather angry at the time since I seemed incapable of showing him any feelings except for during the after sex cuddle. I suppose this was when the real relationship started.

"Why don't you ever touch me except when we're in the bedroom!" he yells after I shirked away from his attempts to wrap his arms around me.

For awhile, I just blink in surprise, then shake my head. "I'm not a very… touchy feely person." It's always been hard for me to describe my reasoning behind things, and this situation is no different.

He just started to pull out his hair, that lovely, soft, messy hair. I immediately stood up to take his hands, pulling them away so that he'll stop that nonsense. It didn't help much since he decided this would be an opportune time to try and pound my chest, which I have to admit he really isn't strong enough for.

Sighing, I wrap him up in my arms and hold him close. That's what he wanted right? I can hear him yelling through his sobs, trying to scream at me but muffling them with the way he's managed to press his head to my chest. He's rambling on, mainly about how different everything feels and how this has never happened and he hates needing me. I can't blame him, because I hate needing him, something I hadn't realized until this point.

The dinner has managed to burn while I'm shushing him, so when he is calmed down enough, I scoop him up and lay him on our bed in the bedroom, when did I start calling it ours? and kiss his cheeks before heading out to try again at dinner.

Well, I wasn't really sure what I had wanted to cook, but now that I'm done I have miso soup and eggrolls, which to me seems like healing food. While we are eating dinner on the bed, I notice him sniffling through the whole meal and sigh before kissing his forehead. I need to make him understand.

"I haven't been in a relationship in a long time, if that's what you want to make this into, so you may have to forgive me if I sometimes forget your need for… more public displays of affection."

The young boy sighed, leaning his head against my shoulder. I didn't know if I was forgiven, but I think I almost fainted after his next words. "Severus, I'm pregnant."


	2. Chapter 2

Title: My Boyfriend, The Prostitute

Author: Kloak Dark aka Vale

Warnings: AU, OOCness based on AU, references to prostitution

AN: This is my first fic using first person point of view, so please bare with me through this and give me any criticism you'd think would help my writing. This is just sort of an odd story that popped into my head while listening to a song by Decembrists, and will probably later evolve into a fic about what would happen if Draco and Harry were prostitutes and Severus ran into them, but so far in this one, it's just about Harry and Sevvy's relationship. And Harry's pregnancy >.>. Thank you to all those that commented, which would be Jilliane, -first review dance-, Ruth01, willowtree16, fragonknight01, Hombares, SeriousSiriusFan (apparently not as serious as you thought . ), S, KittenBabyGirl, and RavenLeeSnake. A special thanks to all of you, who read and replied within two days of publishing o.o bows This does not mean all you people should stop reviewing, btw, since that would make me very sad T.T

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry or Severus, I wish I did, but then I wouldn't get to see book seven…

Even in the wizarding world, male pregnancy is very rare. I say this to give those who weren't privy to this information a peek into how astonished I was when my sort of boyfriend told me he was pregnant. I say sort of because we hadn't really done anything official as far as dating, just had, lots of sex…

It was later explained to me the reasoning behind how my lover became pregnant, even with it being such a rarity, but for now, you will have to experience it as I did. Astonished and bewildered:

I simply blinked at him for several long seconds before getting out of bed, walking into the bathroom, and splashing my face with water. Upon determining that I was indeed awake, I walked back into the room and sat down on the bed, simply looking at him for a long while.

After a time he became uncomfortable and started squirming, before sighing and crawling into my lap. This was not something he ever really did, since I normally did not allow him to get that far before telling him to stop. However, on this occasion, I not only let him crawl into my lap, and wrapped my arms around him and started playing with his hair.

This is something I do when I'm not sure how to react, I fiddle and fidget with things. It's less likely to be noticed if it's his hair I'm running my fingers through and not my own, since that's a very noticeable sign of agitation and a million other overly complicated emotions that have to do with people in relationships which apparently we now were.

Leaning down, I kissed his forehead and sighed. "Is it mine?" I realize that's quite insensitive, but he does make a living letting other men use his body for pleasure and I had never required him to stop doing so. I'm a jealous man, that much can be said, but I'm not one to deprive someone of their livelihood simply because I disapprove.

"Of course." He mumbled, lips pressed to my collar bone. It's still very odd that he's cuddled to me. When one is used to being a man that intimidates everyone, having someone sit in your lap so they feel protected is quite strange indeed.

My hand slid over his back to gently soothe him, before we both eventually stretched out on the bed, or rather, I stretched out on the bed and he laid on top of me. He'd always preferred it the other way, but somehow I always felt I was going to crush him and right now it would feel especially so.

Leaning forward, he kissed my lips gently. Somehow, I could tell he was as confused as I was about this whole thing, and for good reason. It wasn't everyday a male got pregnant. Wrapping my arm around his waist, and moved us both onto our sides, running my hand down his torso and the slight curve of his hips.

It is easy to see why he made his living as he did, with skin softer than most women's, gorgeous green eyes, slightly toned stomach, feminine curves, and that tight ass, it would be hard to resist him. Hell, in my own case it was impossible.

He was huddled close to me again, one leg over both of mine and his face buried into my shoulder so that I could not see it, but feel his warm breath and hear his muffled words when he finally decided to speak. Damn boner….

"What should we do?"

His words are so shaky, and I think he's probably scared, of what I'm not sure. Pain? It's possible, but doubtful in his case. "Depends on what you mean by what. If you're asking whether we should keep the baby or not I'd say yes, beyond that I don't know."

I know his breath caught at that moment because it was no longer puffing on my skin, and then when he released it there was an altogether too pleasing warm breath. Again I say, damned boner.

"I meant, about us. What are we going to do about that?" His poor little voice was shakier than before, and I realized what he was so scared of: rejection. Boy, I hadn't felt that fear in a long time. Maybe that's because I'm currently in love with a very cute, pregnant prostitute.

Slipping my hand back up to his face, and gently cupping his cheek, I rub my thumb over his chin and kiss his full lips carefully. "What do you want to do?"

He was getting frustrated with me by this point, but his frustration was overpowered with his embarrassment. Whatever he was thinking was causing him to go pink all over, and he opened and closed his mouth several times with no sound coming out. Stopping, he took a deep breath and then let it out. "I want to be more than just your lover, or your escort, or whatever you view me as."

It seemed that had taken a lot of courage from him, but it surprised me a little. I'm still very used to being the snarky potions master and having such things said to me is just sort of… strange. I took in a deep breath of my own and then exhaled. Somehow that really did make things easier to get out. We'd been 'dating' for about six months now, though sometimes it was hard to believe it had been that long. So, the next logical step was… "Harry Potter, will you be mine, always and forever?"


	3. Chapter 3

Title: My Boyfriend, The Prostitute

Author: Kloak Dark aka Vale

Warnings: AU, OOCness based on AU, language, references to prostitution, slight sexual humor, and possible overuse of the word boner and other references to the male genitalia . A bit angsty.

AN: This is my first fic using first person point of view, so please bare with me through this and give me any criticism you'd think would help my writing. This is just sort of an odd story that popped into my head while listening to a song by Decembrists, and will probably later evolve into a fic about what would happen if Draco and Harry were prostitutes and Severus ran into them, but so far in this one, it's just about Harry and Sevvy's relationship. And Harry's pregnancy . . However, Draco will soon make his appearance, I promise –nods sagely-

Thank you to all those that reviewed chapter 2 And, they are: Hambres –first chapter review dance-, SeriousSiriusFan (I wasn't complaining girl . Did I help you out with your Snivvy/Harry fixation?), fragonknight01, safireflame –first time reviewer-, Atilla-the-Honey –also a first time reviewer- and yes Hon, Harry's a wizard, he's just not famous and wasn't sent to school at Hogwarts, hazel-3017, and even to Clodia who only reviewed to tell me I should add mpreg to my warnings list -.- which I am not doing btw since that's a spoiler… Yeah, people, if you're going to tell me to do something, please at least comment on the story itself while you're at it ;.;

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry or Severus, I wish I did, but then I wouldn't get to see book seven…

In the aftermath of that question, there was lots of kissing, boners, fondling, and more sex than usual. Honestly, that's not what I expected when I asked him, but I wasn't going to complain either. I'm a smarter man than to question the motives of a pregnant anything, not to mention knowing better than to protest something that sweet in the first place. But that isn't the point.

It took awhile before I actually received an official answer from him, but from the actions I've just described, I think you and I both could figure out the answer to that question, the one that was really hard to get out, that I'm not going to repeat…

Either way, we're laying in bed, quite sticky and messy. It doesn't really bother me still he starts moving and the mess makes this squelching noise and starts feeling like it's trying to pull off my skin, then it's time to get cleaned up. After taking care of this, we're laying in the bed, clean, but very tired.

He always makes me tired, and right now I'm having trouble, even in my head, not referring to him as a young whippersnapper. Brat, that's what he is, a bloody insatiable brat. Well, he was a prostitute and a teenager at that, what am I supposed to expect? I suddenly feel very old, very old with a child on the way. Bad combination let me tell you, my bones are already protesting the chasing I'm going to have to do.

Sighing, I rolled over a bit and pulled him to me so that his back is against my chest. Merlin he smells good, even after sex… especially after sex… Damnit, not another boner! I'm too damn tired, old Moby will have to wait. It now occurs to me this refers to a muggle book, and not one I particularly enjoyed, and makes me cringe.

Right, back to his smell. Honestly, he really does smell wonderfully, especially his hair. As far as I can tell, he washed it with some sort of shampoo with vanilla in it, and used a similar soap. Oh Merlin… Damn boner… he should just get away from his lover, seeing as how his Willy didn't want to comply with the rest of his worn out body.

It was during musings such as these that he chooses to speak, always when I'm uncomfortable. "I will be yours, forever, Severus Snape." I hadn't even noticed before that he'd taken my hand, and only noticed now because he kissed each knuckle and then my palm. It's certainly an odd thing to suddenly realize… Along this line, I'd like to mention I'm now smirking.

Leaning in, I kiss right behind his ear and then nuzzle his neck with my nose. I had sort of figured out his answer after all, but it needed to be confirmed for me to be truly at ease. Of course, this means we'll actually have to start telling people about it. It's one thing to have him live with me, but, the whole fact of the baby, and if they were to be bonded… Well, I'd actually like to have people there.

"So, big ceremony or little?"

He chuckles at me and then turns to catch my lips, teasing me with that tantalizing, overly experienced tongue. "Huge…"

"Mmm. I can handle that." It didn't trouble me one bit to return his teasing with a bit of my own, though most of the time with him I'm too impatient to tease him. Going for cream filling and all that… I really must stop watching the telly, the muggle advertisements are warping my brain. "I assume we're telling our familiars about this now?" When I say familiars, I mean the staff members, and a few other select people. Not to mention Albus, though with my luck I'm sure he's figured it out and will just twinkle at me when I walk in and ask if my family can stay here.

He rolled over so that he was facing me, looking a bit forlorn at the moment. I arch my eyebrow slightly. "You, don't mind if I invite my workmates, do you?" Oh wow. It's not that he asked, just, the way he refers to them, I really want to laugh right now, and laughing is something Severus Snape cannot do… just like getting into a relationship with a prostitute, getting them pregnant, and asking them to marry me… Okay, so I just laughed, I'm already being very uncharacteristic today as it is.

"Course I don't, as long as they're your friends it's your decision." He was giving me an odd enough expression because I laughed, so I just kissed him and pulled the covers over us. We were going to need sleep…

/\

When I woke up, I saw a piece of paper on the bedside table. Yawning and stretching, I reached over and snagged it, letting my eyes wander over it. The ending was cute… 'Stay sexy, Severus' What a crazy man… The crazy man who fell for me as I walked out of dark alley, dirty, grimy, and covered with cum. I sometimes wonder just how kinky he is, but the thought is usually driven out of my mind when I feel one of his random boner. I think it bothers him that I have more self control then he does, but then again, I did make a living out of sex.

Yawning and stretching again, I slip out of bed and into the shower, turning the water up on high. As the water hits me, the heat spreads a burning pleasure through me, relaxing every muscle. My lips part to let out a loud moan. God that feels so bloody good… bloody boner.. Suppose I could make Sev very happy when he gets home. The thought spreads a sly smile onto my features.

Stepping out of the shower, I look at myself in the mirror. It's a very handy mirror, since it's been charmed not to fog up. Tilting my head from side to side, and turning it to look at every angle, I let out a sigh. I run a thumb over my lips. My lover is always telling me I have a delicate, innocent look, and pouty lips. I suppose it's true, that's how I make my money, by having a pouty kissable mouth, but, I don't see the innocence. Maybe it's because I'm the only one who knows just how much these lips have been kissed, tainted, smeared with the fluids of the random males and a few regulars.

The high cheek bones so regarded as a beautiful, feminine trait, seem just like an easier way to make a quick buck, a trait that allows even larger males fit easily. I'm not overly thin, I even have girlish hips, enhanced by how short the breadth of my shoulders is. Idly, I trace along the line of my pelvis and then trace around my abdomen. They're already tender with making room for the baby.

Even when thinking of the child that I carry, his child, I cannot stop thinking of who I was. The eyes he finds so gorgeous, the eyes that drew him in on that street corner, the eyes that drew countless men in on that street corner. They are a lovely emerald, deep and seemingly endless, my mother's eyes.

Tears slide down my cheeks without even a warning, and my body starts to tremble as I quietly cry. Everyone tells me I look like my dad, with my mom's eyes, but I think they only see that because I'm a boy. When I look at pictures of the three of us, I see facial features from her, though they are slight. I do have his nose and messy hair, which have only added to my pretty picture.

I'm not disgusted with myself, I liked my work, even if I got a few people I didn't particularly enjoy, it was a fun job. No, it's just when I see their features turning me into such a good fucktoy that it hurts. It hurts how perfectly I was made for my job, looked down upon by so many simply because it proved that their 'hard working, moral' coworkers, and people just like them, still needed that little kick of immorality, that taste of sin.

I run my index finger over my lips again, mouth slightly opened as I regarded myself. Sighing, I straightened up and slipped towel around my waist, sighing again as I realized I'd thoroughly soaked the floor. If it had been a client I wouldn't care, but, it was Severus, and so I cleaned it up promptly.

Walking out of the bathroom, I dried my hair and just let the towel sort of hang as I slipped on a pair of shorts and then moved it out of the way as I slipped into a white t-shirt. I had pretty good timing, since at that moment there was a soft 'whush' in the fireplace signalling someone's arrival. Towel still on my head, I walked out into the sitting room where the fireplace was connected to a flu connection.

When I saw who it was, I just grinned and tackled him, kissing all over his face. He was laughing and grinned at me like the Cheshire cat. "Well hullo to you too. What's this I hear about my babe being pregnant?" I just chuckled at him and kissed his nose.

"Nice to see you too Drakey, thanks for asking how I've been." Not that I really minded, he was just concerned, and still trying to spread humor by calling me his babe. It of course worked, since he's Draco, and I can't be sad around him, mainly since he would start tickling me if I was.

He leaned over and kissed my cheek. "Yes, it is nice to see you, and you've been fine as far as I can tell from your letters. So, what exactly is going on?"

We talked for about an hour about the whole baby thing, then the Snape thing, and somehow he got me to give him descriptions of the sex… we now both have boners thanks to his perverted curiosity. Suppose I should tell Severus that our sex is hot enough to give several veteran prostitutes boners.

Somehow, while eating sandwiches, I got tackled and my sexy blond friend started tickling me. It's probably needless to say we ended up in a very… sexual looking position, which I don't really want to describe, just suffice to say that we were severely entangled.

And then Severus walked in the door. What really stunned me were the words that came out of his mouth, after he managed to pick it up off the floor and get on his angry face. "Draco! What the hell are you doing here!" Of course, even though he'd left off the 'with my lover' it was practically hanging in the air. But, what was said next was more stunning even than the fact that Severus and Draco knew each other.

"Uh, hullo Uncle Severus."


	4. Chapter 4

Title: My Boyfriend, The Prostitute

Author: Kloak Dark aka Vale

Warnings: AU, OOCness based on AU, language, references to prostitution, slight sexual humor, and possible overuse of the word boner and other references to the male genitalia . A bit angsty.

AN: This is my first fic using first person point of view, so please bare with me through this and give me any criticism you'd think would help my writing. This is just sort of an odd story that popped into my head while listening to a song by Decembrists, and as all of you know, Draco has now entered the scene. I'm sorry for those that read the earlier version, since it was really hard to read. I'd like to point out that the point of view actually only changes about three times. I'll make it easy, it goes Severus/Harry/Draco/Severus in order.

Thank you to all those that reviewed chapter 3 And, they are: fragonknight01 –first chapter review dance-(Actually, Sevvy DOESN'T know Draco's line of work… you'll see what he though Drakie was doing later), SeriousSiriusFan (No Harry isn't cheating with the ferret, they're just really close), websurffer –first time reviewer- (I'm seriously considering using that line…), hazel-3017, harrpypottermoveover –first time reviewer-, aya4328 0-first time reviewer- (interesting review ), and xmiso please don't shave off my hair and feed it to the dogs T.T It's short enough as it is…A reminder, people, if you're going to tell me to do something, please at least comment on the story itself while you're at it ;.;

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry or Severus, I wish I did, but then I wouldn't get to see book seven…

I can feel one of the veins in my temple throbbing. Something I didn't expect in a million years was to walk in on my lover splayed out in a very suggestive position under my godson… Dear god I hope he's not one of Harry's customers… "What the hell is going on!"

/\

Now it's my turn to be unable to pick my mouth up off the floor, or, it would have been had I not been virtually pinned under a man who had just called my lover his uncle. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to look at either of them the same way again, but I do suppose I have to try for several reasons… At the moment, I suffice my wiggling myself out from under the blond and scooting back a few feet as I stare between them. This. Cannot. Be. Happening.

/\

Well, now I'm in a bit of a pickle I suppose. Damn, shouldn't have said pickle, my willy hurts enough as it is. Honestly, I know I should have at least told Harry that I knew, okay was more like related, to the guy he was sleeping with. But then, he really never would have given me details about anything. Leaning back, I rest on my palms and grin nervously at the man who took me in when my father kicked me out for being gay.

"This really does look bad doesn't it?" I glanced between them, since now the messy raven-haired man that was my best friend was also fixing me with a glare, both seemed to be something like betrayal. "Uh, I can explain this, you see, it just, um, might take awhile."

I can see Severus' foot start to tap. "I've got all day."

The voice behind me seems to be even colder. "As have I."

/\

I must admit, it is perplexing to see the glare on Harry's face. I suppose this means, if I am to assume correctly, that he's not having sexual relations with Draco, or, possibly that he is. Dating a prostitute, scratch that, being engaged to a prostitute, is thoroughly confusing.

Under several icy glares, the blond managed to pick himself up and plop down on the couch. It amazes me that Harry and I end up moving at the same time, for the same chair. We compromise by sitting on the loveseat together, but by staying far enough the part we don't get distracted by one another.

Draco took a deep breath. "Well, um, you know how I always told you I work at an apothecary?"

I simply nod, narrowing my eyes a bit.

"Well, um, that was just so I could explain the bruises on my hips…"

My eyes narrow further and an eyebrow arches itself up. "What are you trying to say Draco?"

I can see how worried he looks, wringing his hands together and then taking several deep breaths. I'm afraid he'll hyperventilate. He and Harry seem to have a lot in common about what they do when they are trying to get past a difficult subject.

Finally his mouth opens to let out one last breath before he speaks. "I'm a prostitute. I met Harry a few months after I moved out and we sort of, became best friends. We were just playing around when you walked in."

I could only blink stupidly for a few moments, something I would normally deny ever doing, but at this point, I feel I have a right to be surprised. I know he's gorgeous, pale and limber, but I didn't expect this somehow, even with the odd bruises and the few times he'd brought men home when he'd lived with me. I cannot believe I was so blind.

Shaking my head, I turn my attention back to the matter at hand, and, well, the heads that were at full attention and begging for a hand. "And what, exactly, during this, playing around, caused those?"

Both of the younger men blushed and looked away, especially Harry. It didn't surprise me when Draco was the one to speak up first. "Discussing your sex life actually."

I could hear my messy haired lover sputter, and it was exactly how I felt. I, however, had at least slightly more control over my motor functions and simply settled with closing my eyes and pinching the bridge of my nose. When the other man finally spoke, he still wanted some answers.

"Why didn't you tell me I was sleeping with your bloody uncle!" As I turned to look, I could see his hands gripping at his hair. Sighing, I attempted to get him to stop that, since he only seemed to be stressing himself out more.

Draco was laughing nervously. "I, well, I didn't want you looking at him differently. Besides, I'd have never gotten any sex details out of you." And the return of the blush in full force. I could even feel the tiniest bit of heat on my own cheeks. Merlin, I never wanted my bloody godson to know about my sex life…

I cleared my throat. "For clarification, I'm not his uncle, I'm his godfather." Like that made it any better… Blinking, I looked at him again and suddenly remember something from a conversation not terribly long ago when I'd run into, ugh, Sirius Black.

"I'm surprised your godfather never told you about _Snivellus._ "I realized there was a frown, slowly turning into a scowl, on my face and the guilty look on his certainly confirmed my fears and suspicions. "I suppose you can't be lecturing Draco then…" I then glanced over at Draco, who looked positively beside himself about something.

Taking a deep breath, I muttered. "I don't want to know, we've had enough controversy for one night. I just, have to ask one more thing." Both sets of youthful eyes turned to look up at me, most of the blushes gone. "Have you slept with each other?"

The two of them looked like they'd been bowled over by something, but slowly, very timidly, (and not in a very Harry-like way) my young lover nodded his head.

"Oh dear god, I've indirectly fucked my godson."


	5. Chapter 5

Title: My Boyfriend, The Prostitute

Author: Kloak Dark aka Vale

Warnings: AU, OOCness based on AU, language, references to prostitution, slight sexual humor, and possible overuse of the word boner and other references to the male genitalia . A bit angsty.

AN: This is my first fic using first person point of view, so please bare with me through this and give me any criticism you'd think would help my writing. This is just sort of an odd story that popped into my head while listening to a song by Decembrists, and as all of you know, Draco has now entered the scene.

Thank you to all those that reviewed chapter 4 And, they are: wannabe–first time reviewer dance- SeriousSiriusFan (Who is now my official cheerleader . I think she's reviewed like every chapter),ixmiso, and MyFictionalAnnihilation (who seemed to especially like the 'indirectly fucked my godson' bit in the last one –snickers- ) –first time reviewer dance- And I throw you all confetti! A reminder, people, if you're going to tell me to do something, please at least comment on the story itself while you're at it ;.;

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry or Severus, I wish I did, but then I wouldn't get to see book seven…

It'd been a few weeks and I was still rather hung up over the whole Draco incident, and my young lover seemed like he would rather avoid the subject, and me, altogether at the moment. Maybe he was as weirded out as I was when I finally realized who Harry was… the Godson of my much hated schoolmate Sirius Black, and the son of my even more hated schoolmate, who I won't say anything more about out of a slight respect for the dead. Would have discovered it sooner had Potter not been a relatively common name.

I should probably stop kicking myself about it, if he'd cared he would have said something. I think.

When I was younger, and mildly interested in women, I used to think that they were confusing. Over the years, I have discovered the truth: so are men. The thing about the complexity of a male, unfortunately, is that they are complex on a whole different level. So even if one understood the basic complexity of one, they cannot treat the other complexity in the same way. Harry has made this more apparent to me than ever.

We're both sitting by the fire in my bedroom, except he's sitting on the floor in front of his chair and I'm grading papers in mine. After the school term started, we've been too busy to think about much anyways, so it might be a good thing we feel like keeping our distance or this could be a very frustrating time.

I know he's been thinking about the bonding ceremony, because he asked me the other day if I still wanted to do it. It's hard to believe how fragile he can be sometimes, with what he did for a business. But I suppose his business and his love life are very different, which I must confess I am rather grateful for.

This is not something I deal with easily, most likely because I've had one relationship since I started teaching and it's one I'd prefer to forget because absolutely nothing went right with it.

As I let out a sigh his head turns towards me, tilted just a titch to the left to show his concern without saying a word. I reflect on the fact that sometimes it seems like I have a cat rather than a young man living with me. This is only enhanced when he crawls over pulls himself into my lap, tucking his head under my chin. I think his actions were brought on because I was rubbing my temples, as I have a bit of a headache.

The headache happens to be forgotten since I do have a rather sexy, lithe creature wiggling around in my lap. Damnit Johnson, go away! This is what I get for going without for two weeks and then dealing with children… I need a stress reliever. All I can do is scowl at him when he starts to giggle, signalling to me he knows exactly what affect he's having on me.

Leaning in, I nibble on his ear, wrapping my arms gently around him and sighing. A tremor runs through his slight body as my breath floats over the back of his neck. It's odd the way his body still reacts to just the merest of my touches, but I can't exactly complain.

Apparently tired of my teasing, he turns and captures my lips, doing a little teasing of his own with that sinfully sweet tongue. His hands ghost down my body, torturing me with the light touches that arouse but don't satisfy. Bloody boy has me at attention before my own digits can find their way into that mess he calls his hair.

As I can't particularly remember much after that, specifically anyways, let's just suffice to say we didn't even make it to the bed, and that it was very warm by the fire, a perfect place to bask in the afterglow and hold a sated lover.

It was all fine and dandy, I didn't just say that, until there was a knock on the door. We just did the quick thing and threw on robes, but when I opened said door, I realized what an awful idea that had been, and being fully clothed would have been a much better idea. Why? Because Sirius Black and Remus Lupin are standing there, and one of them is giving me a death glare.

I'm hoping you can guess which one is glaring at me, and if you can't, I'll make it easy… It's the one named after a constellation. The other one, damn him, is smiling and waving at me. Unfortunately, Harry waved back, which made the mutt even angrier so now he looks like he wants to rip my throat out.

"Well, I see someone finally informed you of the situation."

He had an extremely guilty look on his face, but he was still grinning. Looks like he'd missed them while he was with me. I feel bad for depriving the wolf, but the mutt can deal with it. His godson left his house to go be a prostitute, there's something wrong with that picture.

"Can we please get dressed before you attempt to rip my head off?" I levelled my own glare, and although Sirius didn't seem to want to leave Harry alone with me, like I could actually DO anything to him in that time, Remus simply said 'sure' very cheerfully and dragged him out of the doorway, which I promptly slammed.

Not really sure what they were talking about, but we emerged a few minutes later. I was in my regular school robes, in other words, only part of my hands and face were showing. My raven haired lover happened to be wearing much more than usual, including a loose black turtleneck that I think belongs to me, which seems odd because he's wearing tight dark grey pants… I really can't understand him.

Fixing my glare once again on the mutt, he snarled at me. They were sitting on our couch… not mine, but OURS. The one I bought because Harry said we needed something more comfortable and colourful, and the mutt is sitting on it. I am going to use a sterilizing charm on that later, I swear. "So, what do you want puppy dogs?"

And there goes that reproachful look. Boing. I don't think it's ever done that before. Not when he's giving me a look like that anyways. Merlin, I am sooo glad I wear loose robes, otherwise this would be, well, more uncomfortable than usual.

"He's my godson Severus!"

"I don't care who's godson he is, I don't even care who's son he is at this point, all I care about is the fact that I love and apparently he loves me back. Though by telling you it makes me wonder." That joke isn't that hard to catch, especially with the way Harry is blushing and Remus seems to be trying not to giggle. However, Sirius generally attempts NOT to see humor in my actions.

"Don't take his love lightly, enough people have done that." He growled.

I almost replied, but before I had the chance, he'd made an odd yowling sound and I realized that the mutt's lover, horrid thought, had stomped on his toes. The worst part was when Harry started laughing, which almost made me smile. As it was, I smirked because it suits me better.

"Well, it's easy to see which pup runs the doghouse."

And there goes the blushing. Incredible, the werewolf actually doesn't look half bad when he isn't looking in general apathetic. It's always better to keep Sirius fuming too, since it seems to be the most natural and non-creepy expression he has. Besides, I want to hit him too much when he smiles.

After that whole scene, everything went pretty smoothly, with the mutt and I constantly glaring at one another while our lovers discussed the bonding ceremony. I'd been informed that Remus is going to help with the planning, which I had already suspected, and when the other two weren't around Sirius kept threatening me with what he thought was horrible things he would do if I ever hurt his precious godson. I still want to hit him, but for Harry's sake, I'm controlling the urge.

The funniest part about this whole thing is that as soon as we got them out of my chambers, it was back to the bedroom.

"Wow, someone's happy!" Giggling.


	6. Chapter 6

Title: My Boyfriend, The Prostitute

Author: Kloak Dark aka Vale

Warnings: AU, OOCness based on AU, language, references to prostitution, slight sexual humor, and possible overuse of the word boner and other references to the male genitalia. A bit angsty.

AN: This is my first fic using first person point of view, so please bare with me through this and give me any criticism you'd think would help my writing. This is just sort of an odd story that popped into my head while listening to a song by Decembrists, and as all of you know, Draco, Remus, and Sirius have all been featured! You didn't think I'd leave them out did you? Nutty. But guess who makes an appearance this chapter?

Thanks to all those that reviewed chapter five, which include SeriousSiriusFan -hands her Remus and Sirius- She's my cheerleader whether she likes it or not Fragonknight01, another one of my really faithful ones, MyFictionalAnnihilation, androgyny –first time reviewer-, and Inconspicuous –first time reviewer- I have to thank Inconspicuous for pumping up my ego so much and making me feel so awesome! Thank her for this chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own Sev and Harry, or Draco and the puppies, but I do like to play house with them –grins-

It is difficult to explain how we got to this point, I keep telling myself that, because it is. My life with Harry has actually been rather simplistic, with only a few fights in the time we've been together. When we talk it's not like one of us is trying to outdo the other, to prove who's more intelligent, to force an opinion. Our discussions are usually fruitful, supporting what points we have and agreeing to disagree on certain subjects.

But, now the most difficult part of our journey together… deciding on baby names. We'd been so focused on trying to arrange the bonding ceremony, which the entire staff knew about and was trying to input their opinions into, that it was nearly done and we had almost forgotten that Harry we getting pretty laden down and the time would come when we least expected it.

So here we are, trying to decide on a name, and we're fighting. Why? Differences of opinion…

"Well I think Kelly is a perfectly nice name!"

"Do you want our son to be teased about having a girl's name the whole of his life?"

"Well how about James then?"

I was wondering if I should even dignify that with an answer, except that Remus ended up saying something instead. I thanked him mentally because I wasn't sure if I could stop from screaming at this point.

"Harry, it wouldn't be very nice to name your child after someone who tormented your lover." The wolf looked sympathetic, and I was sure he'd never name his child Severus simply due to the fact that Sirius hated me so much… But that was alright, I don't think I'd want my name affiliated with Black anyhow, no matter how cute a baby Remus might produce. Augh! Wrong line of thought damnit, get your brain out of there, because the wolf is not attractive!

At the time I didn't realize that I had physically smacked myself in the forehead trying to get the grotesque visions out since I had subconsciously thought that the wolf was somewhat attractive, something I will never admit to if tortured, not even on my deathbed if my lover asked me… Hell, I would definitely not admit it if my lover asked me.

"What if it's a girl?"

Looking up, I found it odd to see Lucius standing in the doorway, since I hadn't seen him in a long while and had only written to him recently about the bonding. To this day I find it strange that I stayed friends with a man who disowned his gay son, because it is pretty obvious that I joined the other side LONG ago. But either way, he was still my best friend in school, and to a degree, he still was.

It seemed Harry was about to say something but… "I like the name Leandra." Turning to my lover, I sighed a deep sigh. "It means young lioness, as I am sure she will be fierce and brave, like you."

I saw something in his eyes change, a bit like melting, as he smiled and put his arms around my neck. It didn't solve the problem of if the baby was a boy, but, I suppose we'd deal with that later… Or name him Kelly, since it was Harry that had to carry him for quite a while and deal with the stressed that entailed. "I suppose Kelly is a good Irish name for a boy…"

And again his eyes changed. I had forgotten how emotional women could get during pregnancy, and male wizards aren't really all that different I'm afraid, so he almost cried before I shushed him and he tried to buck up again. Though it was only a few seconds later when he had another mood swing and he was happy and chipper, leaving my side to go get some ice cream and pickles…. I will never understand the pregnancy taste buds.

The pup seemed to be focusing attention anywhere but on the blond standing in the doorway. It wasn't as though they'd been bitter enemies, as it had been with James and I, but on the other hand… Well, let's just say being muggleborn had never helped his case with the wealthy man and the sneer Lucius seemed incapable of getting rid of never helped his case with the gentle creature that lost his mind once a month.

I stood up from my place on the couch, dusting myself off and then walking past Lucius to the door and motioned him outside. The arrogant Malfoy didn't seem to want to comply at first, but one of my glares convinced him to do so, even if it was at a slow loping pace.

Glare dissolving, I turned on him with a stern expression in the hallway after my door shut. Honertly, he needed to let me know before he dropped in, I had odd company often recently. "I see you received the letter."

"I have." His face doesn't seem quite so strong as usual, his eyes a bit duller than they had been only moments before.

"Well?"

"I need to tell you something." His expression seemed pained, like whatever he needed to say was going to take a lot out of him, that this thing he was admitting to would change something.

"And?" I manage to keep the curiosity out of my voice. No, I don't want to know, I don't really care what he says, because nothing will bother me. I'll still love Harry, we'll still forge a proper magical bond, and we'll still have that child. Well, he'll have it and I'll take care of him… Why the hell do I want children at my age! Why am I getting off the subject?

"I, Severus Snape, I love you."

I can practically feel my jaw hit the floor.


	7. Chapter 7

Title: My Boyfriend, The Prostitute

Author: Kloak Dark aka Vale

Warnings: AU, OOCness based on AU, language, references to prostitution, slight sexual humor, and possible overuse of the word boner and other references to the male genitalia. A bit angsty.

AN: This is my first fic using first person point of view, so please bare with me through this and give me any criticism you'd think would help my writing. This is just sort of an odd story that popped into my head while listening to a song by Decembrists, and as all of you know, Draco, Remus, Sirius, and now Lucius have been featured. Apparently you all about died at the end of the last chapter… You make me snicker.

Thanks to all those that reviewed chapter six, which include, in order of review, MyFictionalAnnihilation, Hambares –Yes I did need some angst!-, campchamp21 –first time reviewer..I think-, SeriousSiriusFan –so totally my cheerleader whether she LIKES IT OR NOT! And for the record, plot twist on the baby's gender… Because I like to leave you wondering-, Sanosuke and Kenshin Fan –first time reviewer dance! Look, it's another shipper that got hooked, whoot!- , Joey –first time reviewer dance!-, DestinyEntwinements, -first time reviewer dance!-, Tyleet27 –first time reviewer dance! And as for why he disowned Draco… He's a stupid male who never thought he'd have to relinquish Sev, so he thought he could hide it. Males are stupid like that… No offense to anyone!-, and fragonknight01, a loyal reviewer. As for how I could Lucy bash… Lucy bashing is easy, very easy, and a lot of fun –grins- Oh yes, STOP CALLING HIM LUCY . Ya'll are driving me nuts. Oh yes, and anyone who just LOVES Lucius… go read Inappropriate Relationships!

Disclaimer: I don't own Sev and Harry, or Draco, Lucius, and the puppies, but I do like to play house with them –grins-

I think I'm going to faint… I know I'm floored down, as I stumbled back against the door, trying to catch my breath. No, no, no, no, no way in hell! It can't be happening, he didn't say that, my hearing is just going because I'm getting on in years. _Well THAT is true…_ Shut up voice, this is not the time for you to pop up and remind me of my age. _Sorry._

I try to say something and my voice fails me, my mouth making the motions uselessly. I close my mouth and take a deep breath, looking up into the slightly taller man's cold eyes. "Can you, repeat that?" I hear myself mutter. I almost can't believe I found the words, but, that's definitely my voice. Even if it does have a much more shell shocked quality to it than usual.

"I love you Severus."

Damnit! It can't be my hearing twice, I, oh god, I heard him right. I'm afraid if I ask him again he may just grab me and kiss me to get the point across, which you can certainly see why I would be hesitant about that. I mean, the father/mother/ whatever, of my children is just behind the door that I'm gripping for dear life. It would be REALLY bad if I got smooched.

"Uh, um, can we talk about this another time?"

Without waiting for a response, I open the door and dodge back in, slamming it shut and locking it. I'm sure he's standing there looking as shocked as I was. Rejection might have been better, but he knew I was getting married, so why did he choose now to do this? _Because he likes having some form of control over you, and if you get married, he loses you._

As much as he hated to admit it, the voice had a point, damnit. Filthy hypocrite, the man is a filthy rich, filthy hypocrite. His son subjected himself to innumerable shames and horrors to live because his father threw him out of the house when he found out he was gay, and now Lucius loves me? Stupid bastard. Men were so terribly complicated, this I know. I just wish they would stop complicating my life with their complications and force them on, Black, or something, someone that was already crazy as hell and whose life could deal with a bit more complication.

I need to get away for awhile or something, away from all the psychos that seem to be presenting themselves…

"Are you alright Severus?" It's the wolf's voice.

I glance over at him and then just collapse into an armchair and rub my temple. Alright? No, I don't think so. Never have been, definitely never will be after the month I've had.

Before I could answer, however, my lover bounds out of the kitchen and unceremoniously places himself in my lap. My arms almost automatically fold around him, ruffling his hair and letting out a long sigh.

"What did he want?"

You really don't want to know. "Nothing important, just wanted to make sure he had an invitation."

"What'd you tell him?"

Lie. "That I'd think about it."

It's not easy lying to him, but the truth would be pretty upsetting to say the least. It's not like I want to freak him out, or get him utterly pissed at the man. He'd probably be angrier than I was that his best friend's father is a hypocrite. A rather large one to say the least. How did I have the unfortunate luck of having a supposedly straight Malfoy fall for me and then declare his love for me mere months before I marry? What did I do in my past life to deserve this?

I could only hope none of my former flames, or his for that matter, came popping out of the woodwork. That would be terribly unpleasant. But it's hard to think about that right now, with him sitting on me… Damnit, boner. Why does he always sit on me when I'm TRYING to have Sirius thoughts? Egads! Not Sirius, serious. I did not just, oh god, no, no, no, this is worse than thinking Remus is sexy, which he is… Stop it! I do not like mutts, I do not like mutts, I do not like mutts, I do not like mutts, I do not like mutts, I do like mutts… NO!


End file.
